If you listen closely you can hear the churning. It hums in the night while we are sleeping, dull roars we have become accustomed to, the quiet clacking of things moving as they should, in circles without anyone giving it a moments notice.

I asked for someone to give me some sort of answer as to why I am not as lucky as some other people, why I am more jaded and why sadness has always been a comforting companion rather than a thing I wish to banish. I can hear the world turning, I can hear each click of the axis as I go about my day, moving along with heavy feet in the hopes that one day all these things I carry will fade, and I will once again be able to run.

The shackles will melt from my feet and the world will become new again. I will have something again. Around and around and now we are here, here in this time and this place that nobody recognizes anymore, in a house that used to seem familiar but now the walls ache. They are full of people and they dull out the clacking and the clicking of the world but it still goes on, it’s still happening in the silence.

I asked for someone to give me some sort of answer as to why I am not as lucky as some other people, why I am more jaded and why sadness has always been a comforting companion rather than a thing I wish to banish. I can hear the world turning, I can hear each click of the axis as I go about my day, moving along with heavy feet in the hopes that one day all these things I carry will fade, and I will once again be able to run.

The shackles will melt from my feet and the world will become new again. I will have something again. Around and around and now we are here, here in this time and this place that nobody recognizes anymore, in a house that used to seem familiar but now the walls ache. They are full of people and they dull out the clacking and the clicking of the world but it still goes on, it’s still happening in the silence.

The shackles will melt from my feet and the world will become new again. I will have something again. Around and around and now we are here, here in this time and this place that nobody recognizes anymore, in a house that used to seem familiar but now the walls ache. They are full of people and they dull out the clacking and the clicking of the world but it still goes on, it’s still happening in the silence.

Tell me I should be broken and stay as such. Tell me that my body bears no resemblance to the thing it once was and that repair is not at all possible. Because instead, I hang around here with everything in my arms searching for someone to put me back together again.

Put me back together again.

Denial

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