The hardest piece of advice I have ever received goes like this: “Never use anyone else to dilute your own loneliness”.
I consider myself a good person, more than most in fact, however I have never been able to adhere to this particular nugget of wisdom. Truthfully I think we all want to be loved, even for just a minute. I always found love to be such an inadequate word, spanning from intense like to a lifetime of devotion. Cocking my head to the left and right I contemplated this funny little word in my head, love, love, love to the point where it began to sound funny, as if it were warped in some way.
I am angry at the word, angry at everything that it holds and holds back. I am angry that I don’t have it, that I have had it, that I have lost it, that I am again looking for it in perhaps all of the wrong places. I inhale deeply once, then again and grip the door making sure to turn off the light before I exit so as to shield the other body in the room from the confrontation of mine in stark light.
Sitting back down I have decided that love is how I feel about this dark room, about the soft music playing in the background and the ideas that have now begun to pool in my head that I must write down later. Love is how I relish in the sadness and the pathetic loneliness of this moment and still have the audacity to think of it as something to achieve as opposed to disdain. That is what love is, loving that which is at its worst or best.
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Prudent
I have lived this post…many times.
so happy it resonated with you
I think I know this room and that sense of life, and to those who know that place this is a beautiful, gentle and heart-moving post.
I think we all knew this room at some point, thanks so much for the kind words:)
Deep emotional thoughts.:)
Great topics and nice presentation. Thanks from shareofheartblog.wordpress.com
thank you 🙂
Reblogged this on wwwpalfitness.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
You’re welcome:)
I love this, (no pun intended) Beautifully put. Thanks for sharing
thanks so much for reading 🙂
Wonderfully written, straight from the heart..
i know the feeling all too well, nonetheless my reason may differ in some small ways..
i see that you have dropped by to have a look see?
Thank you,
hugs chris
thanks for reading 🙂
Welcome…
I get uncomfortable with the word love, It seems bandied around too much, overused. I’d be surprised if someone didn’t want to be loved, to feel that connection running between people (I am assuming people rather than things), Not sure I agree with (or even understand) your conclusion as to what love is, but who am I to question.
Miri, so glad to find your blog. Your writing is sublime and deep in its introspection. I think you touch on the core of what makes us human and the lifelong quest to love and be loved, often losing the truth of love along the way. Very well done!
Thank you so much, so happy it resonates with you 🙂
All my pleasure, Miri. 😀
Wow! This is so beautifully written! 🙂
I especially enjoyed this part:
“I am angry at the word, angry at everything that it holds and holds back. I am angry that I don’t have it, that I have had it, that I have lost it, that I am again looking for it in perhaps all of the wrong places.”
That is so honest and powerful.
thank you! so happy you enjoyed it
Reblogged this on And Dirty Linens.
woooah, this got to me, this was written beautifully, I can relate 🙂
Thank you 🙂
In the beginning, there was nothing but darkness. Then I found myself there, and I wanted to be comforted, taken care of, loved. When the hunger for being comforted, taken care of, loved goes, there will be darkness again. It is the primordial element we are made of.
What an intense piece that touched something deep in my guts!
Beautiful response, so happy it resonated with you
Beautiful! Very well written!! Happy to connect ? Do check out my writings too, will appreciate your reviews ❤
Thanks for stopping by, will definitely check it out
Appreciate it 🙂
Miri, this is perhaps the greatest “definition” (if you will) of love I’ve read since 1 Corinthians 13. Your last sentence is spectacular. I look forward to reading more of your work.
wow thank you so much!
Love … is complex, we can experience love as an emotion, that is, a feeling connected with our body and mind, but also exists a higher sense of love, above emotions. When we live love only as an emotion, then thoughts, desires, attractions, cravings, etc etc comes together, creating a mess in our head and heart. That’s why suffering often comes together with emotional, passionate love. However, in our nature there are higher, finest levels of love, waiting for to be discovered: unconditional inner love, permanent, always shining, always within us. When we discover such love, we irradiate it, in all directions, and the need of to be loved vanishes, no longer necessary. Thanks for you like in my last post 🙂 . Nice blog! I’m reading now some of your posts.
thanks so much for reading, I really enjoyed this response, and your post!
Love often turns into something alien and easily confuses us, since we try to use words and want to find or attach meaning to our feelings and thoughts. Dependence and commitment can turn something that we might once perceive as love into an all – consuming void. The void causes us to forget breathing. I see this piece as reaching the nonexistent end of the void, like coming up for air after being underwater for some time. I see the act of regaining one’s breath.
Just my interpretation, though!
-V
I think love is without a doubt the most personal experience, I don’t think it is possible not to have your own interpretation. Thank you for sharing yours 🙂
Very nicely put…the void indeed! My new mantra…breathe…and just breathe again.
thank you!
Love is what the battlefield presents to you after you have vanquished all the imposters.
hmm, interesting definition Regis, I suppose you’re right.
Remember it is my definition and I am older than you. That makes it either valuable or pointless and you won’t get to know which until the end.
Let it happen … thank you for liking our post about ‘Another Damaged One’ on Agnellusmirror . Will.
You’ve found your love. It’s here on this page, in your thoughts. You have found your love and it is the words you put here before us, to extend our little bit of consciousness through you, through your eyes and fingertips, through your emotions and musings. That’s the most satisfactory love of all, and it endures; it will be with you always. You are so lucky.
thank you for such a beautiful response
Ahh, the joys (and woes) of the L word. Great piece!
thank you 🙂
Very well written. It is kind-of a damned-if-you-do/don’t thing, isn’t it?
isn’t it always
It often finds you when you’re least expecting it, sometimes late, often after many hardships and failures, but it finds you if it’s meant to. And it will, because you are seeking it. So relax and let it come. xoxo
Beautiful words.
Love is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; the mist in the valley that “covers over a multitude of sins”… but when the mist dissipates, the sins are still there. Love may be the greatest and longest-running illusion foisted upon mankind. Love is a placebo, ever weakened by its reciprocal nature. There is a better way. It is the way of compassion, the giving without expectation. Love may bring momentary pleasure, even happiness but it is compassion that opens the way to joy, ultimate fulfillment, and the deepest awareness of what it means to be alive as an intelligent, sentient, self-aware being.
Thanks for this, I really enjoyed reading this response 🙂
Reblogged this on Risque Bizness: Enter at Your Own Risque.
thanks for sharing!
Hey Miri, I’m pleased to meet you! Thanks for dropping by my nest 🙂
“Never use anyone else to dilute your own loneliness”… wow! Pause. Reflect. Deconstruct. You write beautifully.. this is a thoughtful piece.
Thank you:)
Reblogged this on humanityonearth and commented:
Such a wonderful a truthful quote. It takes great faith and courage to find love within before seeking it outside. Otherwise without what’s within, all other forms of love remain baseless and shallow. And so it is said, “Never use anyone else to dilute your own loneliness”
thanks for sharing!
Having been loved, having lost, having written about it, I think there is one important element of being loved that is at the core of that desire – to love in return. When we want to be loved, deep inside we want to love…wrap our arms, our hearts, and our lives around someone else for their good.
I think you’re right, I find that most tend to want to be loved but think very little of wanting to love, it’s an interesting way to look at it.
Exactly!! The freedom to love someone entirely…to lose all care about me…that perfect state of wanting to do for her…wanting to give without agenda, simply be with her. Who knew this?? My new yard stick for the measure of one’s love…a whole other level that i never experienced.
I’m thankful that you stopped by my blog because it allowed me to find yours 🙂 What a thoughtful and well-articulated piece. Your article really hit home – this tug of war with love is something I’ve experienced over and over again.
Roshan
thank you!
I very much enjoyed yours as well
Beautiful!!!!
nice
Wow. Powerful. I hear ya!
Reblogged this on The Curious Blog of a Millennial* and commented:
Throwback Thursday? A Short Conversation always kills me.
wow thank you so much Mariah, means a lot 🙂
You are so welcome! You have no idea of the relevancy this post has to me today. Love it. xoxo